Gone
by Bitterness11
Summary: Smiling, he pushed me to go on forward, and when I turned around to thank him, he was already... Gone


_**Smiling, he pushed me to go on forward, and when I turned around to thank him, he was already... Gone**_

* * *

"This is Saito Hajime, isn't he?"

"When did he return? I heard he had left the school?"

"Have you known Okita? I heard he was his friend"

"The badass?! No way!"

"Hush... He will hear you"

Tapping swiftly on his cell phone, he slowly made his way to his classroom. There is no meaning in arguing with them, Souji wouldn't mind anyway. He never cared about those who talked behind his back; he didn't give a damn about them. People, as well as what they say, was nothing but trash for him.

He was just like that.

"I saw Okita before, he was so scary..."

"Yeah, but I can't deny that he was handsome..."

"What a loss..."

His tapping on the phone became more furious...

**'I've returned to school Souji,**

**I miss you'**

_Sending..._

...

* * *

_**His laugh still echoes in my ears. There was a weird sound at the end of it that I hadn't notice before, was it... Pain?!**_

...

* * *

**One year before**

**Hajime's POV**

Glancing around my new classroom with a bored gaze, I let out a heavy sigh. It was the first time in our lives, me and him had been separated.

_My only friend, Okita Souji._

I turned my gaze towards the window next to me, staring at the white field outside. Christmas was already over, and we were about to start a new year.

I'm not worried about myself, being in a new classroom without anyone who I could call a friend, truth is; I'm worried about him.

Souji was never good in communicating with others; he could never hold a proper conversation with anyone. He used to throw his sick jokes around without any consideration to the feelings of the people he was talking with.

I can't say he couldn't if he wanted to; actually he was using these rude behaviors because that's how he wanted it. He loves scaring people, making them cry over such stupid things, with nothing on his face but a mischievous smile, and cold mocking emerald eyes. Simply, he enjoys it.

I wonder what he is doing right now.

Things might turn ugly if I wasn't there to stop him in time, someone might pick a fist fight with him, and he wouldn't let it slid. His fighting skills weren't bad at all, maybe they were too good for my own liking, otherwise he might know his limits. I admit he has a strong body as well as a smart cunning mind, thus; other boys feared fighting him. But if there were many of them gathered together, they will beat him up for sure.

Like the first time I saw him, _ten years ago..._

**Normal POV**

The seven years old Saito Hajime walked silently into the park, it was almost down. He didn't want to go home yet, his mother might be there, and he didn't want to be beaten up for nothing.

He stopped walking when he heard a load shout from somewhere nearby. Changing his direction, he went to where the sounds are coming from.

"Oh no! He is bleeding!"

"You little brat! You dared throwing the rock at his head!"

His usually blank eyes widened, there was a child around his age circled by middle-school boys, one of them was clutching his bleeding head.

He stayed still, and saw the brown-haired child standing on his feet, he was obviously beaten up by those boys "You bastards! Hijikata-san is better than you all!"

"You still have guts!"

He closed his eyes to avoid seeing the small boy falling painfully to the ground.

How could he talk back to those scary boys? Why didn't he run the moment they started hitting him? Why didn't he choose the path he himself was always choosing?!

_Running away._

Was it bravery? Or mere stupidity?!

Looking at the boy's glaring emerald orbs he knew the answer; it's because of his stubbornness.

When the boys finely left, he turned his eyes back to the brunette boy and froze when he met cold and blank green eyes.

After a short moment he lowered his gaze to the ground. He hesitated, should he say something? No, he has nothing to do with this...

He lifted his slightly wide-eyes when he noticed the boy getting up. It seems he has to do nothing, the boy has already left.

..

* * *

He sighed heavily, there is nothing he could do with Souji, at least he was listening to him.

"What's wrong Hajime-kun? Missing me already?"

He turned his gaze away from the window when he heard the playful tone. His blank gaze rested on the figure sitting on the seat in front of him "Of course not, but I think you are"

Souji folded his arms on Hajime's table, and leaned his chin on them while faking a pout "Of course I am. I'm depressed; I won't be able to annoy you all the time"

He held a sigh, before he retorted "Souji, you are sitting on someone's seat, you know?"

His gaze followed Souji's movements, who lifted his head from his arms and the pout still in place "They should get used to it; it should have been mine in the first place"

His eyes softened slightly, it seems being in different classes has been bothering Souji greatly.

A small smile formed on his lips, the way the two of them were clinging on each other was funny, yet so sweet. Souji would act like a small child if he took too long without seeing him, just like at this moment.

But he... What would he look like if Souji wasn't around?

How would it feel without Souji nagging on him all day?

"Hajime-kun...?"

He blinked and chased these thoughts away; there is no reason to worry about that. Souji won't go anywhere. There is no way that Souji would leave him. A small smile graced his lips when he met Souji's questioning gaze "I just remembered... Our first meeting"

A dry laugh left Souji's lips, before he said playfully "Two years ago, when you looked like a lost soaked sheep?"

His smile disappeared as soon as the words left Souji's mouth, he frowned. The bastard Souji, he knew what he was talking about but said that just to provoke him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before answering "No. I mean our real first meeting, ten years ago." He opened his eyes and stared coldly at the smirking boy in front of him "When you looked like a completely beaten puppy"

He felt proud when Souji's smirk turned to a pout, serves him right.

"No need to be so mean Hajime-kun, you mock me on that although you hadn't done anything to help your friend"

He let out a frustrated sigh "We weren't friends at that time! Even if we were I wouldn't interfere"

"Cowered"

He retorted coldly while he puts his stuff in his bag "Stupid"

"Heartless"

That again! Really... Souji has nothing to do. He pulled his lunch from the desk drawer "Badass"

"Cute"

He froze before he lifted his shocked gaze to the playful one. He glared at the other when he started laughing "Souji! This is not funny"

Souji said between his laughs "Oh yeah it is, you should have seen your face, it was priceless!"

He grunted silently, grabbed his lunch and stood up "Whatever, let's go"

When he was walking, a small smile graced his lips; it's really comforting, knowing that Souji is going to follow him.

_That's right, Souji won't go anywhere._

* * *

He sensed an unwanted presence right beside him, and felt a furious glare directed at his head.

Thinking it isn't wise to ignore it, he decided to lift his head from the desk. He grimaced when the annoying sunlight blinded his vision. He was sleeping from almost the start of the lesson.

"Having a nice sleep aren't we, Okita-kun?"

He rubbed the edge of his noise until he felt his eyes has adjusted to the lightning, then made a face as if he was in pain "I wasn't sleeping Sensie, my head hurts! Can I go to the nursery?"

"Meet me after you finish your classes, I'll make sure your head will be well treated"

He stood with a grunt, this stupid Sensie. He knows what she meant by treating his head; the old woman was doubting his sanity.

He closed the door behind him, and muttered to himself "What a nuisance, definitely she is going to give me an extra stupid essay!"

_I don't have time for this._

He puts his hands lazily into his pockets, and walked slowly towards Hajime's classroom, the bell is going to ring soon anyway.

He leaned on the wall next to Hajime's classroom and stared out the window.

_It's spring._

A whole month has passed this year.

_Spring... Autumn... Winter..._

He knew about it yesterday.

_No... Spring... Summer... Autumn... Winter..._

_For seasons... Different colors._

It's a stupid thought, but there is nothing on his mind to think about. He wanted to avoid thinking about **That...**

It wouldn't have got him anywhere.

It won't change, no matter what happen.

And maybe... He doesn't want it to change.

It is good to be _colorless._

He drifted his eyes back to the classroom door, the students had already exited the class for lunch break, but where is Hajime?

They used to eat their lunch in the roof, who finishes first goes first, but he wanted to go together today.

He made his way to the door, and stopped with slightly wide eyes when he saw Hajime setting calmly on his seat. He was staring at someone... Well that's something out of the ordinary.

Hajime has never stared at someone before!

He followed Hajime's gaze, until it rested on a tiny looking brunette girl. She was doing her homework it seems.

Raising a perfect eyebrow, he returned his gaze back to his best friend, who seemed unaware of anything around him.

He mumbled to himself with a sideways smirk "interesting"

* * *

"Stop it Souji! I wasn't staring at her, I was thinking!"

"Whatever you say"

He cursed under his breath and turned his face away from the mischievous smile on Souji's lips.

Stupid Souji.

They were on their way home. It was a good thing that their homes weren't far away from each other, if they were... Then perhaps they wouldn't have been friends at all.

He still remembers that rainy day, the first day Souji talked to him. _Two years ago..._

* * *

He glared at the heavy rain falling relentlessly on the school yard. He had brought his umbrella of course; he wasn't the type who forgets such a thing. Apparently it was stolen.

Yes he was kind of being bullied, not physically though; because he avoids these kinds of stuff.

If he hadn't staid late today because of some student council work then he...

"Saito-kun... Right?"

He turned his head towards the voice, behind him stood Okita Souji, one of his classmates.

A light frown appeared on his face, although this boy was his classmate for a long time, but he had never talked to him.

No one really talk to Okita, because obviously he doesn't want anyone to talk to him, he sure had made that clear, all this years.

He himself wasn't the type to talk with anyone, even so sometimes people talk to him. But for Okita... The students always say he is a scary person, though he never saw him getting on anyone's way, but maybe if they got on his...

He blinked when Okita stepped towards him, and lifted his umbrella on both of their heads "Let's walk home together, yours is the same way as mine"

His eyes widened slightly, he never noticed that. And also... There was a smile on Okita's lips.

It's the first time...

He nodded without responding.

They walked silently side by side; he looked at the other boy from the corner of his eye. Okita was sleeping most of the classes, the teachers always lecture him, and he never listens.

The surprising thing is that most of his grads are perfect, maybe that's why the teachers have no grudge against him. Sometimes... He also skipped homework.

He is so... Nonchalant.

Staring right in front of him, he wonders how he knew all that about Okita, he thought he knew nothing. Maybe he was watching the brunette boy next to him without noticing.

They were in the same elementary school, the same middle school, and now... The same high school. How stupid of him to not notice that before, of course their homes would be close.

"Saito-kun, what made you stay so late today in such a weather? I thought I would be the last student there"

He blinked when he heard Okita's voice, really... He still hadn't believed that they were walking home together, how ironic.

"I had business in the student council"

"Those bastards, they left you on your own!"

He stopped on his track, and turned his shucked eyes to the still walking Souji.

What did he just say...?

_**Someone cared...**_

He jolted from his thought when he felt someone grabbing his wrist, and dragging him forward "Be careful or you will catch a cold!"

Okita seemed worried, his gaze said so. He felt stupid, his hair and clothes has gotten wet already...

He lowered his eyes to the ground, and mumbled in a low tone "Sorry..."

Who said Okita is scary? Who said he was a bully? Who said he is cruel and heartless?

_It's all wrong..._

"Whatever... Let's go"

Okita released his wrist, and they walked silently.

He asked in a sudden "What about you?"

He tilted his head slightly to meet Okita's questioning gaze, who then closed his eyes with realization "Ah... You mean being late. Detention"

His eyes widened in surprise "Why?"

Okita shook his shoulders nonchalantly "I broke someone's nose"

He stopped for a moment waiting his mind to process what he heard. He walked swiftly beside Souji, and stared at him with furrowed eyebrows "And why did you do that?"

He stopped again when Souji stopped "It's not worth telling"

He stared at him with a frown, before noticing that they were standing right in front of his house.

He felt disappointed, he wanted to spend more time with Okita, he wants to understand this boy in front of him, he wants to know more about him.

He was so stupid, why hadn't he talked to him all these years?

Why hadn't he talked to him the first time he saw Okita when they were young?

Why he feels like... He is so drawn to this boy?

_From the beginning._

He sighed and turned his gaze to taller boy "Thank you, Oki..."

"Souji"

His eyes widened when Okita cut him off, he stared at the other with questioning gaze.

A warm smile formed on Souji's lips "Maybe we should have done this sooner, but let's walk home together again, Hajime-kun"

He wasn't the only one watching the other all those years, Souji was watching him as well it seems.

Though he rarely smiles; He Smiled Back.

_That reminds him..._

_Why he feels so drawn to Souji?_

* * *

...

Damn that memory, he was so passionate back then. If he just knew...

He sighed "I was so stupid, I should have known that you are the worst"

"What was that? I'm so generous, I allowed you to share an umbrella with me. How nice of me!"

He stopped walking, his hands turned to fists. He said between greeted teeth "That umbrella was mine!"

It was Souji's turn to sigh "After I went and taught the boy who stole it a lesson, is that how you thank me? I couldn't give it back because they caught me"

"You should have told me at least when you saw me, not acting like a nice person who Allowed me to share an umbrella with him!"

Souji shoot a small rock with his foot "I wanted to be your friend"

He folded his arms, staring intently at Souji's pouting face "You should have just talked to me, without playing that stupid game of yours"

He grimaced lightly, when Souji lifted his arms dramatically "You know how much I love games!"

He unfolded his arms and sighed in defeat, he knows that Souji hadn't thought of being his friend until that day, when he saw that he was being bullied. Souji knew that if he was with him no one would harm him. And it's true, no one harmed him ever since.

With Souji he was _safe._

But really... Showing at his home the next morning with the umbrella, and a playful smile on his face _**'I fooled you, Hajime-kun! This is yours'**_ it never crossed his mind!

He mumbled to himself "He never apologized"

Souji turned towards him with that smirk of his "You know I'll never apologize on something doesn't worth apologizing"

Oh, he heard him.

Souji's laughs that day still echoes in his ears.

He glared at Souji's back for a second.

The bastard Souji.

He knows he can't fool him, and Souji won't shut up until he admits.

He took some steps towards his friend, and leaned his head on the other's back before closing his eyes "You know... You were right. She is beautiful. But nothing more than that. Don't make it like I had fallen in love or something"

Souji's tone was strangely calm "I won't, but it's just the beginning"

...

* * *

**Present Time...**

He jumped when he saw his phone shining in the dark room. He opened it with shaking fingers.

_1 e-mail received _

_From: Unknown_

_Subject: My second message_

Tears gathered in his pale blue eyes, Souji send him another message... Like he had promised.

**'Hello there, Hajime-Kun!**

**If you are reading this...**

**How are you doing? I hope you are okay.**

**I really hope.**

**And also Chizuru-chan...**

**You know Hajime; don't be so close on yourself at school. There are other nice people beside Chizuru-chan, and I know that they want to be your friends; because You Are Awesome.**

**Just be strong for me okay?**

**I don't want to regret this.**

**I don't want to think that sending these messages would hurt you. You know that's not what I wanted.**

**You know I feel guilty for hiding that from you, and for sending this, also... You know I'm selfish.**

**I don't want you to forget me.**

**I hope you are not crying right now, I know you, you act like you are strong, but you are as dump as a child.**

**I know I told you that before but... Don't cry okay? It would make me sad.**

**Be happy.**

**Love you**

_**Souji.**_


End file.
